'The Bachelor' Recap, Episode 3: "Still Tastes Fine"

Last week's episode of The Bachelor ended with a "to be continued..." after Nick sent Liz home and filled the other girls on the group date in on the fact that they'd had sex.

This week we pick up the next morning as news of Nick's one night stand spreads across the mansion. We learn that Christen's blabber mouth played in her favor as she, who told Nick she knew about his and Liz's history, received the date rose the previous night.

Nick arrives at the mansion that night to smooth things over with everyone and make sure they know he's an "open book".

One-by-one the women get some alone time with Nick and he and Danielle L. seem to be enjoying each others company with some sweet sweet hand holding.

Sensing someone else's happiness, Corinne, aka my favorite human being, decides to put on lingerie and a trench coat. She says she has "it" and it's time for Nick to see "it". She doesn't say "it" is her vagina, but I'm pretty sure it's her vagina.

She grabs Nick and proceeds to give him a display of 14-year-old level 'this is sexy right?'

That's right, she's wearing a trench coat with barely anything under it and has a can of whipped cream.

She sexily says, "This is me in a trench coat if you were wondering. It's weird."

So sexy.

She asks Nick to lick the whipped cream off her boobs until he actually has to say he thinks he's had too much whipped cream.

He tells her things have gone as far as they should and Corinne runs upstairs in tears as Jasmine grabs Nick.

Upstairs, Corinne cries that she's ruined their relationship and promptly falls asleep.

Seriously, I love this woman. I see what she's doing, and I'm all for it.

And just like that we're at our first rose ceremony of the night.

Christen, Danielle M., and Corinne are safe from the last episode. Corinne feels she's so safe she actually decides to sleep through the rose ceremony.

Something both the girls, and Nick, feel isn't cool. But Nick (and the producers) doesn't care that much because he keeps her around and gives roses to Astrid, Taylor, Whitney, Kristina, Danielle L., Rachel, Vanessa, Raven, Jaimi, Dominique, Sarah, Alexis, Brittany, Josephine, and Jasmine.

So it's so long to two of the most nondescript women I've ever seen and forgotten immediately, and one really pretty Canadian: Lacey, Elizabeth, and Hailey

The next morning, Chris Harrison, who remarks upon how rested Corinne looks (classic Harrison), drops of a date card for Danielle L., Christen, Kristina, Whitney, Taylor, Jasmine, and Corinne. But the card quickly turns into a visit from the Backstreet Boys.

Though I'm pretty sure some of them are too young to know what Backstreet came back from, the women lose their shit in a way that only a boy band can make women lose their shit.

For the day's group date, the women meet Nick and the Backstreet Boys at their rehearsal for their upcoming Las Vegas residency, i.e. the reason they're going to allow the contestants to do the following:

The women will act as backup dancers for BSB at a show in Los Angeles. At the end of the show, the five Boys will choose a woman to stay on stage and be serenaded as she dances one on one with Nick.

Nick Viall, not Nick Carter.

Whomp.

Rehearsals start we learn that while Corinne is really good at understanding what is suuuuuper sexy, she is not good at dancing. The girl cannot remember any of the steps. Something she blames on her "bad short-term memory".

At the end of rehearsal, Corinne is not happy because she can't be her true cute self! She's upset because she's trying to be herself so much that she can't be herself.

Which is a thing apparently.

Finally it's time to hit the stage.

BSB start things off and then Nick joins in a way that makes you just want to punch him the face.

The girls join and Danielle L. ends up winning earning herself some alone time with Nick. And by alone I mean center stage with the other girls watching and an audience of 500 Backstreet Boys fans singing "I Want It That Way" at the top of their lungs.

Romance.

Corinne says that watching Danielle L and Nick kiss on stage is her "worst nightmare repeated over and over and over".

I want a life where that's the worst thing you can imagine. I want Corinne's life.

That evening, true to form, Corinne grabs Nick first and explains that she's not good at "planned dancing" and apologizes for missing the rose ceremony. Well she kind of apologizes, kind of thinks about how to get things back to making out. Nick's fine with that.

So Corinne decides to take another nap.

Just when I thought I couldn't love this woman anymore, she wakes up, rejoins the other women and they start talking about kids, which of course leads her to talk about her nanny Raquel.

Ugh I love that she has a nanny.

Corinne explains that Raquel makes her bed every morning, makes her vegetable slices for lunch, wakes her up, does her laundry, and is the only person that can make cheese pasta to Corinne's liking.

But be fore you think she's crazy, Corinne explains that Raquel likes to do it, it makes her happy. And as Corinne puts it, “I’m not gonna stop a woman’s happiness.”

Jasmine responds like this:

In the end Nick gives the date rose to Danielle L. but Corinne doesn't care that much abut that. She cares about Raquel and how much she misses her because she's had to do all this "big girl stuff".

The next day, Vanessa and Nick go on a one-on-one date in a Zero-G plane. They fly in a zero G plane that lets them experience zero gravity.

After they float around and awkwardly kiss, Vanessa vomits. But don't worry, Nick's into it.

He's all about comforting her in a way that would have most women screaming 'Stop touching me! Either hold my hair back of get the hell a way from me.'

After she throws up, HE KISSES HER and says it still tastes fine.

Nope.

That night, Nick and Vanessa talk over dinner. Vanessa tells Nick that her grandfather died three weeks before she started filming but her family encouraged her to come on the show anyway.

She asks Nick why he would come on the show again and gets him to cry. His first cry of the season!

I had her winning in my bracket and I'm feeling good about this choice. I like this woman.

The next day Rachel, Alexis, Astrid, Jaimi, Sarah, Brittany, and Dominique head out for a group date.

They meet Nick and Olympians Michelle Carter, Carl Lewis, and Allyson Felix at the track for a Nickathalon.

Thats right, it's time for another Bachelor athletic ability test.

Rachel gives ABC a soundbite when she says she'd "love to track and field Nick all day."

I'm calling it now, Rachel for Bachelorette next season.

After a few rounds of events and some very poorly supported boobs, Rachel, Astrid, and Dolphexis (whom I still love despite my love for Corinne) compete in a 100 yard dash towards a fake diamond ring for the chance to spend time in the hot tub with Nick.

That's good television.

Rachel wins the race, but when she grabs the ring, she knocks it over. Astrid, who was running in third is there to grab it and therefore claim the victory and a make out session in the hot tub with Nick.

Fair? Probably not.

Funny? Definitely.

That night, Dominique decides to confront Nick about his not paying attention to her during the day. She tells him he hasn't been giving her a chance. Bad move, Nick sends her home because she made him realize he doesn't care.

He gives the date rose to Rachel instead.

The next day, the cocktail party is swapped for a pool party.

While some of the women perv out on Nick and rub sunscreen on him suggestively, Corinne has bigger ideas.

That bigger idea being drying humping Nick in a princess bounce house.

Afterward she's tired and goes to take another nap.

Nick thinks Corinne is showing him how comfortable and fun she is. The other woman, well, they disagree.

Raven tells Nick about Corinne's nanny Raquel. Jasmine and Taylor pile on with more anti-Corinne stories. Finally Vanessa confronts Nick and flat out says she's doubting Nick's intentions. She wants to know if he's really looking for a wife.

And with that we end.

Corinne for President 2020.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8pm on ABC. In the meantime, you can read the rest of our recaps of The Bachelor here.