'The Bachelor' Recap, Episode 6: The One Where Half the House Goes Home

Just when I thought I couldn't hate an episode more than last weeks, BOOM, here we are again.

But, at least I have the solace that Nick and the contestants were equally unhappy.

The episode picks up where we left off last week. The women are waiting around their hotel in New Orleans anxiously waiting to see who's luggage the PA picks up. It's Taylor's and everyone is shocked. Except Josephine, who says, "Yay, Corinne's coming back."

But Taylor decides she's not done and heads to Corinne and Nick's dinner date to tell potential future therapy clients that she's unsuitable to be a mental health counselor tell Nick that Corinne is a liar and has been manipulating him.

Taylor and Nick talk for awhile while Corinne drinks a bottle of champagne and talks to herself back inside.

In the end Nick tells her his decision wasn't based on anything Corinne said to him and Taylor finally leaves so the cameras can cut to Corinne and Nick making out some more.

For the cocktail party the ladies head to another slave plantation home probably pretty old house, but when they arrive Chris Harrison tells them Nick's already made up his mind.

With Corinne, Danielle M., and Rachel already rosed up, Nick gives roses to Kristina, Raven, Vanessa, Danielle L., Jasmine, and Whitney. Yes, Whitney. Who is a person on the show.

That means Jaimi (who might have been sent home for her lipstick choice), Josephine, and that's right, Dolphexis are going home.

Hey Alexis, if you're reading this, I just want you to know I will miss you more than you'll ever know. I'm pouring some rosé for you, girl.

This one's for you.

Sigh.

Nick tells the remaining nine women they're headed to a very romantic place that's known for white sand beaches and clear blue waters. That's right, you guessed it, they're going to St. Thomas!

What's that? You didn't guess that? Don't worry... No one did. That's what the tourism board of St. Thomas is trying to fix by being featured on The Bachelor.

When they arrive in St. Thomas, everyone, Nick included, decides now is the time to fall in love. And as we all know, nothing makes falling in love harder than saying NOW is the time. So it's just plain rough on all fronts.

Nick grabs Kristina for the first one-on-one, much to Jasmine's disappointment.

Nick and Kristina take a plane to the Annaberg ruins for a nice afternoon of willing themselves to feel anything at all for each other.

During the dinner portion of the date, Nick asks Kristina to tell him a bit about herself and her siblings. This is where it gets serious.

She explains that she was kicked out her mother's house at the age of five and would sometimes eat lipstick just to have something in her stomach. From there she went to an orphanage where she spent the next seven years coming to think of the other kids there as her family.

When the opportunity to be adopted by a family in the US came up at the age of 12, Kristina says she wasn't sure about leaving because it would mean leaving everything and everyone she had ever loved behind. But a worker at the orphanage told her that her life in Russia would always be in black and white and a life in America would be in color, so Kristina took the plunge.

Nick doesn't know how to react to this information, so he gives her a rose.

Back at the hotel, Vanessa bores everyone with cool facts about the island that the tourism board of St. Thomas paid to have recited, when the island version of Corinne's nanny Racquel enters and Corinne loses her mind.

Island Raquel, aka Lorna, helps Corinne steam her dress, makes sure her towels are "comfy" and brings her drinks by the pool. She's just the best. So much so, Corinne says she's worried Racquel is going to be jealous.

Sure. Okay.

Up next, Rachel, Raven, Vanessa, Corinne, Danielle M. and Jasmine head out on a group date. It consists of drinking, playing beach volleyball and testing my patience. Yes, it's that boring. The girls actually have to create drama just to make this date a little interesting.

Cue... sand push.

By the end of the game everyone has basically flipped out and is crying on the beach.

The nighttime cocktail portion of the group date isn't much better.

Rachel tells Nick she's ready to leave.

But that revelation is completely overshadowed by Jasmine.

Throughout the entire episode, Jasmine works herself up into a big ol' mess of self doubt culminating with her playfully???? strangling him.

I don't pretend to know a lot about men, but I do know the vast majority don't respond well to a drunk woman complaining about not spending enough time together and then strangling them.

Nick sends Jasmine home.

 

And now it's time for the two-on-one date. Nick, Danielle L. (who's nickname is apparently D.Lo) and Whitney (who is a person on this show) take a helicopter to an island to talk. As you do.

He talks to Whitney (who is a person on this show) about how beautiful she is and about their other previous conversation which may or may not have actually happened. Then he and Danielle L. talk about how much fun they had on their one-on-one in Wisconsin. He cuts her short and heads back to Whitney to let her know she has been demoted to a a person who was on this show.

He and Danielle get back on the helicopter leaving Whitney there, STRANDED ON AN ISLAND.

Nick and Danielle L. have dinner, during which they discuss their other dates and try to convince each other that they like each other. It doesn't work.

Danielle L. tells Nick she's falling for him and Nick just looks plain miserable. So he sends her home.

Back at the hotel the ladies, who have watched as a PA took Whitney's luggage from the room, watch as another one takes D.Lo's.

Nick comes into their hotel room and talks about how he's afraid this whole thing might not be working and how he's making a ton of mistakes. He says he's worried his love for these women might fall flat.

Let's take a minute to remember this is the FOURTH time Nick has been on The Bachelor. He has to know what he got himself into, right?

Wrong. Nick cries and leaves the room.

The end.

Thankfully in the preview for next week we see that Corinne (and her vagina) are going to cheer Nick up.

So, you know, something to live for.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8pm on ABC. In the meantime, you can read the rest of our recaps here.