A Mom’s Hilarious List of Everything You Give up When You Have Kids

When you're about to have kids, you tend to get a lot of unsolicited advice from your family, friends and random strangers on the internet.

Lauren Dubois knows this. As a journalist/parenting blogger, she's been through it all. And yes, she also has some unsolicited advice for every woman who doesn't have children yet.

As mother to three-year-old son Thud and 11-month-old Pop, she spends her days sharing the hilarious and relatable experiences of being a mom to two young kids.

On her website, The Thud, Dubois recently wrote the 30 things every woman needs to do before having a baby. And we love it.

From buying clothes for yourself to wearing all your dangly earrings, every point she makes is valid.

These are our favorites.

1. Go for a drive by yourself and turn the music up really loud. Listen to the filthiest gangsta rap and shout out all the explicit lyrics.

2. Shower every day.

3. Put a pair of scissors really close to the edge of the bench. Put a glass on the coffee table. Put a plate of food in front of someone and let them judge the temperature for themselves. Feel the adrenaline surge through your veins.

4.  If you are not yet pregnant, go and jump on a trampoline. Enjoy not wetting yourself.

5. Clean your house. Sit and watch it stay clean.

Other mothers have added their experiences to the comments section. One commenter, named Shannon, reminisced on the days of wearing perfume.

Another, named Cathy, wrote about missing breakable items: "Have nice things around the house: fragile ornaments, pictures, mirrors, candles. Place them on low surfaces and enjoy them."

We were just like Thelma and Louise today. Except for the murder, and Brad Pitt and driving off a cliff. So actually nothing like Thelma and Louise. But we were two chicks in a car ALL DAY LONG doing endless prize collection and party supply shopping. It was a huge day but she wins the MVP award for surviving getting in and out of her car seat SEVEN times over six hours, lots of strangers commenting on her hair, two car boot nappy changes, one backseat feeding sesh and one very brief car nap - all without complaint 🙌 actually that's a lie, she complained heaps but she only complained to me in the privacy of our car and never in public. She worked the public like an absolute boss with only her best grins and giggles and waves. Everyone kept telling me how sweet and well behaved she was (which was because I was letting her chew on my car keys which is super gross and made her smell like metal but it kept her happy until I would put her back in the car and take them off her 😳😵). So a big thanks to my sidekick Pops. Couldn't have done it without you! #actuallycouldhave #wouldhavebeenheapseasier #gettinginandoutofthecarisapparentlytorture #butyourecute #sorryforthelongday #beddybyesnow #thudparty #twosleeps #frocktober2016

A photo posted by Lauren Dubois @ The Thud (@thudandpop) on

Too. Good.

Click here to read Dubois' full list of things non-moms take for granted.